Need some people to fill my loneliness

Haiz,i think what i really need is someone who would fill my heart with JOY and not bitterness.I have been thinking and i think i lack of this thing is i never have someone who be by myside when i'm down or support me when fail.I have never couple before so i dont noe the feeling to have someone who you like/love be there for you when you needed them the most but i'm lucky enough to have my pet sis.

Although i have 4 pet sis but 2 of my mei have problem d so left 2 now and i really need someone who is a girl to feel my heart with joy and be with me when i really needed them the most.Although my pet sis could take that place but!!! they have their own Boyfriend or someone they like and i cant be greedy to ask them to fill my loneliness when they have their own boyfriend to take care of.

I noe i have a spiritual father who is Jesus that will be there for me when i needed him the most but!!! i need someone physically to feel the loneliness.Its great to have someone accompany you when you go out and hold their hands which could bring the joy out of your heart but i never felt it before which i never had a GIRLFRIEND.

I know its still young to have one and its too late to have one which i still have SPM to take care of.But in my 17 years of living,i could not get 1 girl to fill up the loneliness and yet maybe i'm not handsome enough i guess or maybe i'm way too good to become friend then a boyfriend.

Am i a good boy that people dont accept me or should i become a evil person then only they accept me ? How could i get someone i like to like me back ? I know it takes time and effort and my bad attitude is i get jealous very fast.I had that feeling of envy and everytime i go to Sunway or some mall i could see couple holding hands and have their talk and i envy with them.I could never have that experience for 17 years and people who are lucky to get with the one they love but end up they broke up because its like a puppy love.

Yea some say being single is way better then couple.They say couple spend more money then being single.The money you spend to the one you love is the effort for you to love her/him.I tell you people la,being single also not good i tell you.Your heart will feel lonely although u have friends but the loneliness could only be fill with the person who you love.I may not be an expert about love but the loneliness in my heart for 17 years and never have couple before and i proudly to say that being a single is not good.

Having a pet sis is something good for me which they will support me when i'm down or give me advise.BUT!!! as i say,they do have their own concerned about the one the love.I have no intention to fall in love with them but eventually the feeling got and i have to tell the truth i do have sometimes had feeling for them and in my heart i know that i cant let that feeling goes on and my mind must say that they are my pet sis and i have to act like they are my real sisters.

Well i talk more then done.Well i think i not being EMO for the past few months and its thx to my Cell Group W5 and my pet sis which is Rachel ( my 1st ever pet sis ) and Pei Wen ( my 2nd pet sis ).Love them so much and i glad i have them in my live.